A new danger to Americans

The New York Times revealed that 121 veterans are just the tip of the iceberg, and that there is probably, well, certainly, well, maybe, well, there could be, a huge swirling mass of psychotic veterans out there, possibly. Iowahawk, showing a truly impressive learning curve, has mastered those same journalistic and statistical techniques to reveal where the source of the real dangers facing ordinary Americans:

Bylines of Brutality

As Casualties Mount, Some Question The Emotional Stability of Media Vets

An Iowahawk Special Investigative Report
With Statistical Guidance from the New York Times

A Denver newspaper columnist is arrested for stalking a story subject. In Cincinnati, a television reporter is arrested on charges of child molestation. A North Carolina newspaper reporter is arrested for harassing a local woman. A drunken Chicago Sun-Times columnist and editorial board member is arrested for wife beating. A Baltimore newspaper editor is arrested for threatening neighbors with a shotgun. In Florida, one TV reporter is arrested for DUI, while another is charged with carrying a gun into a high school. A Philadelphia news anchorwoman goes on a violent drunken rampage, assaulting a police officer. In England, a newspaper columnist is arrested for killing her elderly aunt.

Unrelated incidents, or mounting evidence of that America’s newsrooms have become a breeding ground for murderous, drunk, gun-wielding child molesters? Answers are elusive, but the ever-increasing toll of violent crimes committed by journalists has led some experts to warn that without programs for intensive mental health care, the nation faces a potential bloodbath at the hands of psychopathic media vets.

“These people could snap at any minute,” says James Treacher of the Treacher Institute for Journalist Studies. “We need to get them the help and medication they need before it’s too late.”

You can — no, you must — read the rest here.

I have to admit to being pretty impressed, because I was just telling DQ that discourse in this country has gotten so wacky that it makes satire practically impossible. Iowahawk shows that there’s still room for this fine art.

Incidentally, Iowahawk forgot to include in his hall of shame Bernie Ward, the former priest and San Francisco radio personality, who was indicted for trafficking in child porn.

Hat tip: American Thinker


8 Responses

  1. Funny, I haven’t heard anything about Bernie Ward in the national media, only on talk radio. This may be Iowahawk’s best piece very. :-).

  2. Whoops! I meant “ever”.

  3. The odds of experienciing harm are far greater from senators from Massachusetts.

    50% of Massachusetts senators have been involved in fatalities. The other 50% served in VietNam, btw.

  4. Well done soldier. I smiled and then I shook my head sadly at the state of journalism. Keep up your impressive work, sir.

    Wayne J Roques, US DEA Retired

  5. I must confess that until I read *To Set The Record Straight* I had believed the slander of Vietnam Vets by the MSM, even though being born in 1947 just about every male of my age was deeply touched by that war.

    My then boyfriend and my two brothers served, a few classmates died, some went draft-dodging into the Peace Corp or graduate school. But none came home as a nut-cases.

    And the slander of our soldiers continues to this day. I thank God daily that we now have more voices to speak up and that via the internet, we once more have a truly free press. Iowahawk rocks!

  6. I love the ‘hawk; he produces laugh-invoking pieces that just keep on giving (I have the “Zarkman” series saved to file and the final installment is on the bulletin board – well worn from reading on hard days). The best part of it is the form – the content is reminiscent of MadLibs. Trade out the nouns and you could have the front page of the NYT or a news story on at five.
    I hope that the ‘hawk continues his fine work; sometimes I need a laugh.

    SGT Dave – “Paradise is Overrated”

  7. I believe Merck is working on a anti-retard patch. Until then, keep your kids close.

  8. That was pretty funny, Al.

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