Oh, yes!

Hardcore stuff for real women.

And two jokes:

Joke, the first:

A man comes home from work one day to find the house in complete chaos.  The kitchen is piled high with dirty dishes, food is strewn across the floor, the living room looks like a bomb hit it, and two filthy, fighting children are sitting in front of the TV.  With an increasing sense of panic, he runs through the house towards the bedroom.  There, he finds his wife sitting up in bed, with a book in front of her and a box of chocolates beside her.

“What’s wrong?  What happened?” he cries out.

She looks at him.

“You know how you come home every day and condescendingly ask ‘And what did you do today, dear? ‘  Well, today, I didn’t do it.”

Joke, the second:

A woman manages to sneak away from the family for a short girls night out.  When she goes up to the bar to get a drink, she finds herself next to the most gorgeous man she’s ever seen.  He catches her eye.

“Hey, Ma’am.  Tonight’s your special night.  If you ask right, I will do anything you want, anything you can think of.  I will fulfill your every desire.  [Can you just imagine him running his tongue over his lips at this point?]  There’s just one catch.  You can use only three words to tell me want you want me to do for you.  So, go ahead.  Tell me.”

The woman considers for only a moment before she looks him in the eye and says, “Clean my house.”

Hat tip:  Crossing the Rubicon

32 Responses

  1. […] [Share a joke with Bookworm over at Bookworm Room…..] Share Article Sphere: Related Content Trackback URL […]

  2. I loved how the end to the first joke was worded.

  3. That, Y, is because you like language, and how its usage changes its meaning.

  4. No surprise that a conservative would need to post these two jokes, as reflections of the unsustainable nest they’ve settled into.

  5. That first one was actually a cartoon in McCall’s magazine some long years ago…
    It was funny then and it’s still funny now…!

    >>as reflections of the unsustainable nest they’ve settled into.>>

    “unsustainable nest”…now there’s gobbledygook if ever there was…!

  6. It’s the sound you get, suek, when you hit a donkey on the head.

  7. Greg — does it give you that much pleasure to hurl random insults at me? If it does, go at it. Who am I do deprive you of the simple pleasures in life?

  8. Let me guess. “greg” thought this was a wonderful movie.

    Bookworm, you can make me a sandwich anytime.🙂

  9. The jokes — and underlying dissatisfaction — reflect marriage role inequities that an awful lot of “liberals” have discovered ways around. As a conservative, Bookworm, you’ve yet to navigate that terrain (the jokes only being funny when they connect with a personal reality) and, dare I say, your personal value system proves to be useless in pointing you in the direction out. So, I’ll take a ham and cheese with spicy mustard, toots, on whole wheat bread.

  10. Oh, and Book? That last bit was an insult. My previous comments were disinterested observation. One is personal, and the other isn’t. Learn the difference.

  11. The jokes — and underlying dissatisfaction — reflect marriage role inequities that an awful lot of “liberals” have discovered ways around.

    Marriage role inequities. What the hell does that mean.

  12. Hi Jack, good to see you’ve joined us. Let’s refer to the first joke for an example of the problem:

    The wife says to her husband, “You know how you come home every day and condescendingly ask ‘And what did you do today, dear?'”

    The humor in the wife’s statement — perhaps only subconsciously recognized by the conservative — relies on the laughably inequitable valuation of wives’ and husbands’ contributions to the household. Which is an unfortunate situation that — Book’s post tells us — persists (against all reason) in conservative homes.

  13. Where did liberal and conservative come into these two jokes?

  14. Jack, g means the inequities in which he, a man, attacks a woman, while I, a man, am ignored cause I’m too dangerous to talk to or attack personally.

    Given that g also has multiple personality disorder on the order of having other personalities “Such as Pastor Ray”, it just adds spice to the marriage.

    Where did liberal and conservative come into these two jokes?

    When that hour of the day came for the narcissist cum vampire called g to feed once more.

    You see, g thinks that he is a superior version of humanity. Such is the narcissist view, like when Kerry said he was here to serve, as if he was somehow superior to the buddies he fauked over while serving in Vietnam.

    In g’s world, people like him are superior to conservatives. Thus this is why fake liberals are more “equitable” and dont’ have all these nasty “human” problems that we lowly peons do.

  15. Marguerite, what a pleasure to hear from you. I’ll spell it out for you: The humour in the jokes resonates with our poor Bookworm’s (typically?) conservative reality of marriage. Which is to say that the jokes are unfunny to anyone who esteems — and whose marriage rests on — the wife’s and husband’s contributions as being equally valuable. Maybe that’s over your head. Just tell me, how funny did you find the jokes?

  16. Greg — does it give you that much pleasure to hurl random insults at me? If it does, go at it. Who am I do deprive you of the simple pleasures in life?

    You are not anyone, to g, Book. You are not a person. You are simply food. Nourishment for the hunger.

  17. Maybe that’s over your head.

    To g, you are not a person, Marguerite. You are just a wax statue that just coincidentally has a head.

  18. Joke II – male version;

    Hooker to man in bar: “I’ll do anything (etc etc) you want for $300.”

    Man in bar: “Great – Paint my house.”

    Although I’m female, I like the male version better!

  19. I find them both very funny every time I hear/read them and don’t see how on earth their humor rests on an idological bent instead of upon the kind of quirky truth that men AND women can see and laugh at in themselves and each other.

  20. Of course, doll, they’re both very funny.

  21. (It’s the ‘condescension’ part that ruins the fun, though, ya know, pretty girl?)

  22. Greg – SHeesh! I’m sure glad the guy I wake up next to has a sense of humor. You always seem to be mad at people with ideas that don’t mirror your own. Do you know how insulting it is to have someone say ‘let me spell it out for you.’ and ‘maybe that’s over your head’ – you are an angry man.

  23. Responding to Greg is a waste of time. And calling him a man is giving him the benefit of the doubt. Mature men don’t write such rubbish.

  24. zhombre, you’ve just solved the mystery. Greg is 14 years old! Explains everything.

  25. I think we’re on the wrong track about Greg. The anger, the absence of humor, the misogyny that intermittently bursts forth, and the chronic condescension were certainly hints, but he gave it away when he tried to explain the joke: Greg is an academic, possibly in the fields of sociology or wymen’s studies. That being the case, God help him, us and his students.

  26. g has become the source of the fun. Even though the joke is at his expense.

  27. #
    Marguerite, on December 18th, 2007 at 5:58 pm Said:

    I find them both very funny every time I hear/read them and don’t see how on earth their humor rests on an idological bent instead of upon the kind of quirky truth that men AND women can see and laugh at in themselves and each other.

    Laughing at oneself is a function of self-discipline and self-respect. When you don’t have any, Marguerite, then you are likely to erupt in CartoonJihad like rages. Teddy Mohammed anyone?

  28. I find the first one to be a little too 1950’s to be really funny. The second is very funny (as is the male “paint my house” version.)

    g is, dare I say, typical.

    There have been two main approaches to the traditional inequities of gender roles. To broadly generalize, liberals have re-enforced the perception expressed by the husband in the first joke. The work of raising children and taking on domestic chores is devalued. Just look at how g devalues traditional roles for a good example. The liberal approach seems to value only the traditional male role and devaluing the female role but insist that everyone help out. Raising children is devalued and even *having* children is devalued, though people generally still like to have them the having them isn’t a contribution but is a personal indulgence.

    The other “work around” has been to recognize the value contributed to the family by women and endeavor to emphasize the equality of that traditional contribution and view a marriage as a partnership of two people working for the same goals, particularly the importance of raising children, regardless of differences in the roles they undertake. Everyone helps out in this version because the work needing done is valuable and important work.

  29. Gosh, sorry that duty called, and I had to be away last night. As the dust clears, I’ll only point out to the Divine Miss M that I know exactly “how insulting it is to have someone say ‘let me spell it out for you.’ and ‘maybe that’s over your head’”.

  30. Loved them.

  31. Marguerite, I hope you have noticed by now that g has never responded to one of my comments or even acknowledge their existence, these last few months to half a year. He responds to Z, so I am getting a trifle miffed about this, Marguerite. Do I not have healthy veins, Marguerite? Do I not have the life energies that g needs for sustenance? Am I not the equal of any other cattle for the slaughter?

    As I said, I’m feeling a bit miffed.

  32. Book, isn’t g just a cuddly little cute hamster that is soooo soft?

    He’ll be even softer, I promise, once I put 100 pounds of force on his back. Going to needing hamster steak recipes then.

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