Oh, you silly, naive Christians who actually think Jesus is the Messiah and you unenlightened Jews who are still waiting for the Messiah. You’re wrong, all wrong! How do I know this? Because I’m about to join the Church of Tom Cruise:
TOM Cruise is the new “Christ” of Scientology, according to leaders of the cult-like religion.The Mission: Impossible star has been told he has been “chosen” to spread the word of his faith throughout the world.
And leader David Miscavige believes that in future, Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.
A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church’s top levels, said: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure.
“Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right.”
I especially appreciate the subtle understatement of “Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views.” Apparently being ridiculed in the Press is pretty much the same as being scourged and crucified.
I know that I, too, have been silly and unenlightened because I’ve always thought Cruise was a puffed up, untalented weenie. Of course, now that I’ve seen the error of my ways, I’m heading to the video store to buy Risky Business. As far as I’m concerned, there’s no better way to worship the new Messiah than to study him dancing in his underwear or see him cavorting with pretend, Hollywood-glam hookers.
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“Thwack!” went the well-placed frozen flounder to the side of a celebrity’s head.
And in related news, rumor has it that Tom’s odd beliefs sent ex-wife Nicole Kidman back to her childhood Catholicism. Lord works in mysterious ways, and all that.
Tom Cruise is an actor and a person entitled to his religious beliefs. He has that right. But the story on The Sun is worth, well . . . about as much as any other story on a rag like this. Others have proclaimed Cruise is the Jesus of Scientology. But did you notice, while on the site, that you can make it your homepage? Go Knowledge!
LOL Yep. Just by pressing a button.
Cruise is unstable.
I have often wondered whether Hubbard – a not absolutely terrible sci-fi writer (in the “Strange Tales” sense, not the Ray Bradbury sense of actually producing literature) didn’t invent Scientology on a bet.
“Cruise is unstable”
I would say a bit subnormal. Not unusual for Hollywood.
The (gulp) AntiChrist?
http://www.xenu.net