I wasn’t quite sure what to make of a story out of England, which documents how a hospice patient in a Nun-run hospice got help from the hospice to obtain a prostitute so he wouldn’t die a virgin:
A young disabled man who receives care for his life-limiting illness at a hospice run by a nun spoke yesterday of his decision to use a prostitute to experience sex before he dies.
Sister Frances Dominica gave her support to 22-year-old Nick Wallis, who was born with Duchenne muscular dystrophy. Sufferers usually die by their thirties.
Mr Wallis told staff at the Douglas House hospice in Oxford that he wanted to experience sexual intercourse. He explained that he had hoped to form an intimate and loving relationship with a woman, but his disability had acted as a barrier.He told The Daily Telegraph: “It was a decision two years in the making and I discussed it with my carers and my parents. Telling my mother and father was the hardest part, but in the end they gave me their support.
“There are many aspects of life that an able-bodied person takes for granted but from which I am excluded.
“I had hoped to form a relationship when I went to university, but it didn’t happen. I had to recognise that if was to experience sex I would have to pay for it out of my savings. My mind was made up before I discussed it with anyone else.”
The hospice staff, after taking advice from a solicitor, the clergy and health care professionals, decided to help him.
“I found an advert from a sex worker in a magazine for the disabled,” said Mr Wallis. “The initial contact was by email and then by phone.”
It was arranged for the prostitute to visit his home in Northampton. “My parents went out,” he said.
“It was not emotionally fulfilling, but the lady was very pleasant and very understanding. I do not know whether I would do it again. I would much rather find a girlfriend, but I have to be realistic.”
The young man’s situation is incredibly sad, and I can certainly understand his wish to participate at least once before he dies in a basic and pleasurable human activity. Nevertheless, the way in which his encounter occurred strikes me as both sad and sordid, and I find the press’s involvement in the entire thing inexplicable, to say the least. What do you think?
By the way, speaking of youthful sex out of England, am I the only one unimpressed by Daniel Radcliffe’s immature little chest? I prefer my men looking a little, well, a little more manly. This is almost certainly a good thing, since I’m old enough to be Radcliffe’s mother and it would be rather revolting if I were oogling him lasciviously. Incidentally, I have to say I’m incredibly surprised that there aren’t clauses in the Harry Potter crews’ contracts preventing them from engaging in activities that are at odds with their franchise images.
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Your right Bookworm this should have never been printed. I believe that if it was his decision then the Nuns did the right thing to honor it because it showed their compassion to a dying mans request.
entire thing inexplicable, to say the least. What do you think?
Hollywood and the press are always out for the new and the outrageous. They do not particularly care what that means so long as they get promoted for getting the popular stories.
This is almost certainly a good thing, since I’m old enough to be Radcliffe’s mother
That had me laughing out loud, Book.
This may not be news. But it certainly is entertaining.
Goes on more than you think in similar situations. The question is indeed how – and why – the press got into it. (The other question is, why did the press know, and why would any press outlet consider it news?)
When there is no option, I wonder if it’s really sordid.
This kind of story makes me question the media. Why does the public care about something so obviously personal?
Who called a reporter?
I think the young man chose to speak about this in order to highlight his plight and to praise the enlightened attitude of his caregivers.
As a libertarian I am all for adult freely engaging in any behavior they chose in the privacy of their own homes. Bookworm, one thing that bothers me, not really bothers because it is typical, is how women approach this stroy versus men. It has to do with male sexuality and the fact that many women find it rather gross and show little tolerance for our different desires. Please understand that our desires and physical needs are different and give this handicapped man the respect he deserves for sharing. I am quite sure his motivation for telling his story is noble. The disabled deserve to have sex lives and if prostitution is the only option then so be it.
Bill C has a point. My beef is not with the man nor those who assisted him but with the press who felt it necessary to report this. Reporters get news tips every day that do not end up as stories, This is one that should have been edited out.
I agree with Helen and Bill. It’s a sad story, intensely personal, and bizarrely placed in one of the largest newspapers in England.
Nothing shocks me(nor should it)in what goes on between consenting adults in private abodes.Nothing sordid or tabloid about the above.I’m okay with real people doing real things as long as they pull down the shades and don’t break the law .
Count me in. I have no problem with what this young man did. It’s personal, and none of our business. I just think it’s odd that it ended up in the news.
Helenl, etc.,
You shouldn’t be mad at anyone. He chose to talk about what happened and to have his picture taken for the article. This demostrates to me that he wanted other people to know what he was going through and that his caregivers helped him.
The only reason I can see for his cooperation with the press is that he wants others to know they can seek relief if they are in the same situation.
I’m not really mad, Bill C. It’s just that I could have lived my entire life without having read this bit of “news.”
Did you have any brothers?
I guess it is a guy thing. Whenever I see that someone who has lost both their arms I wonder how they can…you know. We are kind of crass.
Well, Bill…..if you ever found out, I do hope you wouldn’t call the newspaper and make a story out of it.
Some things ought to be private, and I agree with Helen and Book that this was one of them. If given a choice, we ought to refrain from cooperating with exhibitionists.